Skin Color and Character
In one of his most iconic speeches, Martin Luther King Jr. said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”. I have been thinking about this quote since I talked to my soon to be four years old daughter Salma this evening.
While we were just playing, she mentioned some “evil witch” she knows who can hide her toys. I asked her jokingly, how does that witch look like, and she told me, “she has black skin and dark hair.” I was intrigued by this description, so I told her jokingly that I have seen a witch with very fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. She refuted me quite strongly by emphasizing with certainty, “only princesses can have fair skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes.”.
She was fascinated when I told her that I know a little girl with the same skin and hair color as hers, who is very brilliant and beautiful. However, when she found out that it was her I was talking about, she told me that she didn’t want to look like herself and would instead look like the Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
We have a mixed-race household with Pakistani and Moroccan roots, with various skin tones and complexions on both sides of the family, so it has never been a matter of concern in our household. I have been curious to know where my daughter is learning this strong association of skin complexion with character attributes.
English is the language of our household out of convenience. We have been reading age-appropriate storybooks to both our daughters and occasionally allowing them to watch children’s songs and movies consisting of classic stories like Cinderella, Snow White, Beauty and the Beast, etc. My initial assessment is that these stories could be shaping these characterizations and associations in her little mind.
I do not want to discredit the role played by these stories in stimulating imaginations of little children. Still, I am curious to know what it is we can do to create a deeper awareness in our children about recognizing the character of a person versus making snap judgments about our fellow human beings based on their appearances?
I am aware of the ongoing for several years now about a post-racial age; I don’t know if we will ever get to that. I see no harm in recognizing races for what they are, a way for us to understand where we come from, a way to introduce ourselves, but should the race or the skin color be the only attribute used to define ourselves or others?
I will like to hear more from other parents who have similar experiences from their children and will love to learn how they have been able to balance their children’s world view?
I will sincerely welcome your ideas and insights.